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luzyanglin
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Name: Lucy
Country: United States
State: California
Gender: Female
Interests: Singing, dancing, music, chinese soap operas, acrylics painting, football. And anything else that I can sustain doing for more than a month.
Expertise: Public Health(HIV/AIDS)
Chinese Food
Karaoke(in Chinese)
Occupation: Public Health Consultant
Industry: Public Health
Message: message me
Member Since:
12/7/2003
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| I'm finding myself more and more obsessed and frustrated with the injustices of the world and how powerless I feel sometimes to do anything. At the same time, that frustration and anger fuels my need to do something. I guess God is telling me the things that frustrate me are the things that frustrate Him and I need to care about them. The things I see on film or read in books about human trafficking, the AIDS epidemic make me sleepless at night sometimes and sick to my stomach thinking about them at work. My body is going through the motions of waking up, going to work, eating my meals, taking care of errands and business, while in my mind a million things go through my head as I try to figure out what all these mean. I remember one line from the movie "Blood Diamond" I just saw recently, when Leonard DiCaprio's characters asks the question, "Do you think God can ever forgive us for the things we do to each other?" I think he asks because he probably feels that God really shouldn't forgive us for the awful things we have done to each other. I know God forgives, but He still holds those who abuse their power accountable, so forgiveness does not replace justice. My prayer is God will raise up His people to see the darkness that is often in disguise around us, and go be a candle and light up the darkness. | |
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| Last night I heard of the terrible news about Sasja, someone I heard about at a conference a week ago from one of the missionaries in the Czech Republic Evergreen supports. Sasja's story is heartbreaking, her suffering so unjust... a victim of sex trafficking who was also diagnosed with leukemia last year. I don't know if she is still alive right now, her leukemia took a turn for the worst last week and she is not doing well as of last night, please keep her in your prayers if you are reading this, and if you have a chance, read her story and remember her and other victims who have been sold and bought as slaves in our world today. Slavery was abolished 201 years ago, but 27 million people are in slavery today around the globe, including the U.S. At least Sasja is going to a better place in heaven than the world of pain she experienced here on earth...... http://www.protectionproject.org/commentary/sasha.htm | |
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| Just when I thought I knew what I want to do, where I want to be, God gently tosses little curve balls at you to tell you maybe He has different plans. I feel like ages have passed in the last month or so. I'm starting now to process where God is leading me in my calling. It's hard to hear His voice sometimes, but in time all things will be made known. A few things I've managed to let go and see what God would have me do. Living life one day at a time is something I'm beginning to learn how to do. I'm much more used to trying to live 2 years or more ahead of myself. There is something in planning something that drives me, but God should take the driver's seat. I realize it's really hard trying to love without abandon, as much as I try to do that in my life, but we are all such fearful creatures I must say. I wish we could all be more honest and open with ourselves and others, but wounded hearts don't forget the arrows stuck deep and long. Will they ever be un-stuck? Wish I could be a kid sometimes and not care a thing about what others think of me, why should they matter anyways? Talked to my sis tonight briefly, I always worry about her, cause I love her lots and misses her to death. I'm feeling so grateful for my family, despite things that I wish could be different. I take so much for granted how good they have been to me and what sacrifice and cost led me to have the life and opportunities that I have. I feel selfish always thinking about what I want to do or what makes me happy. I hope I make my parents happy, they've done so much for me. | | |
| I finally finished my application to this HIV/AIDS program officer position in Africa with Samaritan's Purse, a friend who works with them in Mozambique told me about it. It took me a long time (like a month) to decide if I really wanted to apply. Not that I really think I could get it, but I didn't want to apply to something I couldn't see myself actually doing. So after much praying I feel that I need to at least apply and leave the rest to God. If he wants me to go, then He'll get me there. Or if I'm not the right person for the job, then I shouldn't get it. But I did my part, so now I'm a little relieved, though I'm not sure if I really want it or not, it would be a big change. Although what I did realize is that I'm at a point now if other similar opportunities came up, I would apply to them too, and see where God is leading me to work the next few years. My job now is good, but I don't see myself being there too much longer, 1 or 2 more years max. But it's hard making such big decision, I didn't think it would be this hard until I started thinking about being far away from my family and friends, I would miss everyone here so much. It would have been easier if I just moved overseas when I graduated 2 years ago, now it's not so easy, kinda sucks. :( But we still gotta be obedient and faithful with our talents and trust God with all these things. Something I'm painfully learning how to do. | | |
| It's been a not so happy week or so emotionally and mentally as I've been processing some potential changes, maybe. It's hard for me to hear what God is saying to me. Sometimes I feel like I'm at this fork in my life, trying to figure out where God wants me to be and doing what makes me happy. But I probably just need to take things 3 step at a time rather than trying to leap to the future. But I hope I will be faithful with each little step and be obedient with the things God places in my life. But 2 things I have decided I need to do at this time. One, apply to a job in Africa, and if God wants to put me there, go. Two, let go of things I have no control over and trust that God have what's best for me in mind through all things. | | |
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